Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Cherita

Day 3 OctPoWriMo-2017 (Prompt-Taste of Metal)






The taste of metal still bemoans on the carved milky valves.

A tightening string created a hollow ring
Once shaped as a full moon reduced to a shapeless being.

The scars shadowed
What was once adored
A lifeless mass of food.



14 comments:

  1. captures ' all things must pass''

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    1. Yes. Some are beyond our control, but they do pass. :)

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  2. Sunita, the first time I read this poem, I said, "wow!" when I finished. The second time, I read it aloud and marveled at the words "bemoans on the carved milky valves" and delighted in the internal rhyme of "string" and "ring". Such imagery! Thank you. xoA

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    1. Annis, this is about a personal journey. You inspire to go ahead with this challenge with your comments. Thank you very much :)

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  3. I agree with Angela. That last line is powerful!

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  4. I love the way the middle stanza builds anticipation. I immediately wondered what would happen next. Well done!

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    1. Glad to know that you liked the poem Michele. Thank you very much :)

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  5. Eloquent with a lovely rhythm. Well done.

    Peace,
    Morgan

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  6. Gosh! You are churning out masterpieces!

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    1. Not a masterpiece, just a personal experience :)

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